I've seen pandas eat bamboo like all day. I was at the zoo recently and this fucking panda, a real, real big panda, spent like 15 hours eating bamboo right in front of me. By the end of that 15 hours I was so hungry, so so hungry, but even then I did not want to eat bamboo.
The Glories of Meat
Meat is tha shit. Well, it's what makes some shit. And that shit is probably the best shit. I mean, have you ever heard of bacon? DUHHHHH.
Other Bears (they eat meat!!)
Do pandas hold themselves above other bears? Is meat NOT GOOD ENOUGH for them?? Wtf. Smh. I was always taught what's good for the goose is good for the gander. And I'm nearly sure there's a type of bear called a gander. [edit: Some asshat told me there's no such bear, and I'm all like, "do you know all bears???" and they're like "yes, I am a bear, and I know all of us" and so I guess ok.]
Veggies are rarely aerodynamic, and they are too soft to stick neatly in someone's forehead. If you are trying to defend yourself in this way--just stop. Use your fist! Use your forehead! Use a real throwing star!
Veggies are NOT swords!
fool, don't do this
They are not guns, how could you even think that??
Soft tacos are easily scared. You don't want all that adrenaline in their tortilla muscles harming the taste. Be tender! Give it a little rub before you stick that axe in its forehead.
Speak softly
It's creepier when you speak softly. This will increase your sick pleasure, while simultaneously keeping your victim-taco unaware of its terrible fate.
I've seen pandas eat bamboo like all day. I was at the zoo recently and this fucking panda, a real, real big panda, spent like 15 hours eating bamboo right in front of me. By the end of that 15 hours I was so hungry, so so hungry, but even then I did not want to eat bamboo.
