Thursday, December 18, 2014

Eating Computers: The Why, The How, The Technnique

This is NOT A COMPUTER, dummy.

Selecting a Computer to Eat

Choose a fresh computer

Computers are best when they're fresh--just like regular food! If you use an old computer, like an Apple IIe, your dish is gonna taste like ass and your friends and family are going to hate you. They might already hate you, but they'll hate you more.

Laptops and tablets: Computer Rustica

Though it's tough to beat a desktop deal, some diners prefer laptops and tablets. These have the added benefit of being low-calorie, low-fat, low(er)-silicon. (source: aogdihsdogih)

Don't Eat It RAW


Fruits are dope, tea is dope. Are they the same?
Is tea really "tea juice"?
I don't think so! But maybe!
Should we ask a scientist?

If tea tries really, really hard it might be a fruit.
Anyone can achieve anything if they put their mind to it.
The AMERICAN DREAM.

Preparing and Cooking your Computer




What it Feels like Coming Out


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Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Tea: Is it a fruit?

I don't think this is tea!!! Image credit: queenmobs.com

What are fruits, really?

Fruits are what fruit snacks are made out of, I think, sometimes.
When I buy fruit snacks I don't often look at the package, but I have some recollection that there are "grape" fruit snacks. Or, at least, grape-ish fruit snacks. And if I remember correctly, grapes are fruits. Or nuts. Or fruits. I think they are fruits.

I think my mom told me tomatoes are fruits.

My mom is always saying all kinds of things, and I'm rarely paying attention - more often I'm eating tomatoes. But one time, I think, she was all like, "That's a fruit!" And I was like, "huhhh?" And she was like, "Hey." And I was like, "Mom are you stoned." And she was like, "Huhhhhh." (correction: she was like, "Uhhhhhh")

Fruitcake: the next fruit?


Fruits are dope, tea is dope. Are they the same?
Is tea really "tea juice"?
I don't think so! But maybe!
Should we ask a scientist?

If tea tries really, really hard it might be a fruit.
Anyone can achieve anything if they put their mind to it.
The AMERICAN DREAM.

Hey y’all, welcome to another POEMHACK! I am IN NEED of some more poems to look at! If you’re wondering, “Should I send Donald a poem?” the answer is yes! If you’re wondering, “Is Donald gonna tear my poem up and make me feel like shit for a couple days?” the answer is probably not! Unless you write an “Ode to Hitler” or an “Ode to Stalin” or something!* (source: queen mob's teahouse)