Monday, December 16, 2013

Kittens: How to Get Them Hooked on Drugs

Why get kitty hooked on drugs?

nom nom nom, eat some more pills, pillhead! (source: ifnotforkidnap.com )

Cats are cute; cats on drugs are cuter!!!

Do you spend your whole day on the internet looking at pictures of cats? Yes, me too! Everyone does! Don't feel shame!
But have you ever thought, "Gosh, I'd really like these cats to be even cuter?"
Of course you have. It's all we think about now. 
Consider your friends. They're awful. Except when they're on drugs. Then they're cute and awful. 
Drugs won't make your cat a better cat, but they will make him or her a cuter cat.

I have too many drugs and kitty don't help me with this

Have you ever found yourself with a massive stash, and nobody to help you smoke it? This is the most prevalent problem in our society today.

Make them transcend, yo


What are good kitty gateway drugs?

Catnip

This one is easy. It has "cat" in the name. "Nip" stands for "Conniption", which is synonymous with "Getting totally fucked yo".

Weed


LSD
(edit: in the video it doesn't look like that cat's having a good time)
Bleach???
Among examples, chlorine is used in small quantities in tape water and the cat is fond of licking the faucet in acrobatic positions even if there is mineral freshwater nearby.
I was one day not careful enough using a bleach based gel cleaning product and some of it got on my hand. Even after cleaning my hands, they still had a bleach "perfume" and my cat cling to me and even cleaned my hands with his tongue for minutes. (source)

What drugs should I use to make kitty a for real junkie?
Cocaine
Heroin
MOLLY


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