Praying to Planets: Why Jupiter the Planet is more Loving than Jupiter the Roman God

seeee????

The Roman God Dude Was a Total Dick

He totally screwed with everybody.

Like, for instance, that time he turned into a swan and raped Leda. Who the fuck does that? Why would anyone pray to anything that turns into a swan and rapes someone?? No wonder Greece has had so many difficulties.

He loved getting people in fights.

He was an inveterate cheater.

What Did the Planet Jupiter Ever Do to You?
NASA thinks: Not very much.



st the distant, icy world on July 14, NASA heliophysicist Nikolaos Paschalidis will be one happy man: he created a mission-enabling technology that will help uncover details about the atmosphere of the never-before-visited dwarf planet.



“We have been waiting for this for a long time,” said the Greek native, who now works as a scientist at NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt, Maryland. “That’s what happens when it takes more than nine years to get to your destination.”



When employed by the Maryland-based Johns Hopkins Applied Ph

At Least the Planet is Real

Bee Pollen: It's Not Just Poop!

this is possibly a bee


What is Bee Pollen if it's not turds?

I don't know!

Seriously, I have no idea. It tastes sweet at first, and then it's turds. I do not want to eat it anymore. I wish I hadn't chosen this as my topic.

It has something to do with flowers.

I think bees fuck flowers??, or something. It is like pornhub but also like David Attenborough. (sp?)

(Signs will be posted about using the elevator, but contact Donald at 734 730 9348 if the task seems impossible)
Free! Bring snacks & drinks to share, & a dollar or two to help defray the cost of renting the roof of a tall building for summer evening breeze.
Gorgeous (some say shimmering) words by: (link to the source text)

Health benefits of bee turds

It makes you live forever

You will be like the Highlander, roaming the world in search of other immortal heads to sever. Steal their bee pollen! Become the chosen one! Eventually, be all alone, you sad sack. (edit: an astute reader has alerted me that I'm a total fool (for love!))

You are become a GOOOOOOODDDD

What can even hold your interest anymore? After the eightieth universe you create, it loses its thrill. After the eightieth universe you destroy, it loses its thrill.

Cower, mortals, cower!

Things that are not bee pollen

Pumpkins
Golf balls
Other large, round objects

What is the AWESOME-est culinary style right now?

Sure, you've eaten Thai/Israeli fusion. You've had Ethiopian from 6 different restaurants. You order Vietnamese in Vietnamese. You want more. Well, have you heard about "molecular cuisine"? 

History of Molecular Cuisine

There are many branches of food science that study different aspects of food, such as safety, microbiology, preservation, chemistry, engineering and physics. Molecular gastronomy Cuisine is a food of science that seeks to investigate the physical and chemical transformations of ingredients that occur in cooking. also Molecular Cuisine is modern style of cooking, taking advantage of many technical innovations from the scientific disciplines

                         The father of Molecular Gastronomy know as Nicholas Kurti 

As a style of cooking

The term of molecular cuisine was originally intended to refer only to the scientific of cooking, though it has been adopted to cooking itself or to describe a style of cuisine. late 1990 and early 2000s started to be used to describe a news style of cooking.

Grant Achatz ( plating a dish at Alinea ) is a world NO, seven and here in state NO,one

Techniques, tools and ingredients

Carbon dioxide source, for adding bubbles and making foams,Foams can also be made with an immersion blender,Liquid nitrogen, for flash freezing and shattering, Ice cream maker, often used to make unusual flavors, including savory, Anti-griddle, for cooling and freezing, Thermal immersion circulator for sous-vide (low temperature cooking), food dehydrator, Maltodextrin- can turn a high-fat liquid into a powder, Sugar substitutes , Enzymes, lecithin, Hydrocolloids such as starch, gelatin, Ect...                Heated bath used for low temperature cooking

Molecular Cuisine start publish day

Professors Evelyn G.Halliday and Isabel T.Nobel in 1943 the University of Chicago press published a book entitled food Chemistry and Cookery, University of Chicago Associate professor of home Economics Evelyn G.Halliday and University of Minnesota Associate professor of Home Economics Isabel T Noble. In the foreword of the 346 page book understanding of the chemical principles which good practices in food preparation and preservation.

                Benjamin Thompson, Count Rumfrod 1753-1814 was one of the early pioneers in the science of food & cooking.  

Your Mom: She's So...

She wuvvvs you! :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D 

...niiiiiiice!

She smiles all the time

Is her face frozen like that? It looks like it hurts. Somebody should help her. Why won't she stop, oh my golly, oh no no no, stop please, her teeth are HUGE.

She is very supportive of you and your friends

Pig Butt & Jelly Sammiches - Haute School Lunch

School Lunch Sucks and Everybody Picks on me

The only good thing is the noodles

This is where I want to live, away from everyone

I hate chicken why is there always chicken? It smells like feet. The only thing that's at all edible is the noodles, and I have to put ketchup on them to stomach them. 

Why don't I have any friends

Kids are so stupid, I wish I lived in France or Hawaii. I think people might be nice elsewhere, but here they suck. I think sucky kids grow up into sucky adults and have more sucky kids.

I just want to die I wish I was never born

My Parents have More Money than Your Parents

Maybe I will get a pony when I get home today

My parents have been hinting that since they love me so much they want to buy me a pony. I bet your parents don't love you that much, Jenny. 

Also, your parents are ugly

They don't love you

nectivity business, but that doesn't mean you'll be able to use them as your wireless connectivity provider any time soon. The company isn't building its own cell network, but will rather be a "mobile virtual network operator" offering services over existing networks. Google says it won't be a full-service mobile network in competition with existing carriers; instead, the MVNO will offer a platform through which i (Portland Poetry Reading)

Fuck You, George, I Don't Even Like Your Smelly Face

aeigukauk

n Monday March 02, 2015 @04:36PM
from the suitable-for-framing dept.
mpicpp sends word that scientists have succeeded in capturing the first-ever snapshot of the dual behavior of light."It's one of those endu

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https://www.blogger.com/template-editor.g?blogID=1496774050602233456

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Eating Computers: The Why, The How, The Technnique

This is NOT A COMPUTER, dummy.

Selecting a Computer to Eat

Choose a fresh computer

Computers are best when they're fresh--just like regular food! If you use an old computer, like an Apple IIe, your dish is gonna taste like ass and your friends and family are going to hate you. They might already hate you, but they'll hate you more.

Laptops and tablets: Computer Rustica

Though it's tough to beat a desktop deal, some diners prefer laptops and tablets. These have the added benefit of being low-calorie, low-fat, low(er)-silicon. (source: aogdihsdogih)

Don't Eat It RAW

Fruits are dope, tea is dope. Are they the same?
Is tea really "tea juice"?
I don't think so! But maybe!
Should we ask a scientist?

If tea tries really, really hard it might be a fruit.
Anyone can achieve anything if they put their mind to it.
The AMERICAN DREAM.

Preparing and Cooking your Computer

What it Feels like Coming Out

<iframe width="100%" height="450" scrolling="no" frameborder="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/182097241&amp;auto_play=false&amp;hide_related=false&amp;show_comments=true&amp;show_user=true&amp;show_reposts=false&amp;visual=true"></iframe>

Tea: Is it a fruit?

I don't think this is tea!!! Image credit: queenmobs.com

What are fruits, really?

Fruits are what fruit snacks are made out of, I think, sometimes.

When I buy fruit snacks I don't often look at the package, but I have some recollection that there are "grape" fruit snacks. Or, at least, grape-ish fruit snacks. And if I remember correctly, grapes are fruits. Or nuts. Or fruits. I think they are fruits.

I think my mom told me tomatoes are fruits.

My mom is always saying all kinds of things, and I'm rarely paying attention - more often I'm eating tomatoes. But one time, I think, she was all like, "That's a fruit!" And I was like, "huhhh?" And she was like, "Hey." And I was like, "Mom are you stoned." And she was like, "Huhhhhh." (correction: she was like, "Uhhhhhh")

Fruitcake: the next fruit?

Fruits are dope, tea is dope. Are they the same?
Is tea really "tea juice"?
I don't think so! But maybe!
Should we ask a scientist?

If tea tries really, really hard it might be a fruit.
Anyone can achieve anything if they put their mind to it.
The AMERICAN DREAM.

Hey y’all, welcome to another POEMHACK! I am IN NEED of some more poems to look at! If you’re wondering, “Should I send Donald a poem?” the answer is yes! If you’re wondering, “Is Donald gonna tear my poem up and make me feel like shit for a couple days?” the answer is probably not! Unless you write an “Ode to Hitler” or an “Ode to Stalin” or something!* (source: queen mob's teahouse) 

How to Survive off of Rain Alone

eat it up yum yum eat some more rain you addict

Eating Rain: Surprisingly Delicious

Even unsalted, rain is delicious

You may think, "Oh, I don't want to eat rain, it's probably boring!" Well, news flash: You're Boring, buddy! Rain is an ancient dish, enjoyed by most cultures for thousands of years. Are you too good? Yeah, right.

Cooking rain: the lost art

You may think that rain is only delicious raw. Again, you're so wrong. Put that rain in an oven, crank the heat, wait twenty minutes, and enjoy nice crispy rain! Perfect for those late-night munchies.

Ramen Noodles vs. Horse Tornadoes: Who Would Win??

eat yourself you ramen guy

Ramen Noodles are BAD ASS

They are a complete breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

You can eat these non-stop, 24-hours per day, 600 days per year and you will only get stronger. Famous people have done this. For instance, the powerful Barack Obama is said to have eaten noodles for 400 years before defeating Andre the Giant to become the TALLEST MAN. 

They are full of wax.

Wax is from candles. Candles are from fire. Fire is from the sun. The sun is on the Japanese flag. Coincidence? No. 

They sometimes have plagues of insects in them.

I found a gigantic lobster in one. Lobsters are king of the insect kingdom. Keys to the kingdom, baby! 

Horse Tornadoes are TERRIFYING

What even is a horse tornado?

By mid-2010, the Food Network had made Fieri the "face of the network."[4] In 2010, the New York Times reported that Fieri brought an "element of rowdy, mass-market culture to American food television," and that his "prime-time shows attract more male viewers than any others on the network."[4] (wikipedia)

There is probably lots of poop in them.
Horses are also known as "noble steeds"  "dogs".

What are the bookies saying?

They do not know about this.

The Verdict

How to Beat Up Italy: Basta, punks!

Te sei pazzo!

Why should we beat up Italy?

Italy has been around for thousands of years and ain't done shit in forever.

The Romans were OK (just ok), but since then, what have Italians done? They've dissolved their parliament over 70 times since World War II alone! Come on!!

Pasta hoarding.

Sure, Thailand has noodles. Japan has noodles. Plenty of places have long thin noodles. But where besides Italy has pasta of all kinds of little funny shapes? Is it because other cultures do not appreciate funny-shaped pasta? 

I don't think so. 

It's because of the mafia.

Olive Oil Fraud

It’s an ongoing battle that each of us participates in, every time we stand in front of the olive oil section at our local grocery store. So that’s where I went to review the options; it wasn’t a scientific study, but it replicates the reality of what we see every time we shop. (from a great Forbes article that breaks this all down)

Limoncello tastes like ass, ruining my excellent childhood memory of drinking a small glass of it.

What if I'm scared to beat up Italy?

GET MAD!!!

GROW A PAIR, BRAH. (correction: I know you got a pair)
Watch an Olive Garden commercial.

The Top 5 BEST techniques for UTTERLY DESTROYING Italy.

Flip-kicks.

Atomic bombs.

Flaming nunchaku. 

Pandas: Why don't they just eat steak?

Pandas are OBSESSED with BAMBOO (wtf)

I've seen pandas eat bamboo like all day. I was at the zoo recently and this fucking panda, a real, real big panda, spent like 15 hours eating bamboo right in front of me. By the end of that 15 hours I was so hungry, so so hungry, but even then I did not want to eat bamboo.

The Glories of Meat

Meat is tha shit. Well, it's what makes some shit. And that shit is probably the best shit. I mean, have you ever heard of bacon? DUHHHHH.

Other Bears (they eat meat!!)

Do pandas hold themselves above other bears? Is meat NOT GOOD ENOUGH for them?? Wtf. Smh. I was always taught what's good for the goose is good for the gander. And I'm nearly sure there's a type of bear called a gander. [edit: Some asshat told me there's no such bear, and I'm all like, "do you know all bears???" and they're like "yes, I am a bear, and I know all of us" and so I guess ok.]

How NOT to use Vegetables: Dangers of Nutrition

As weapons

Veggies are NOT throwing stars!

Veggies are rarely aerodynamic, and they are too soft to stick neatly in someone's forehead. If you are trying to defend yourself in this way--just stop. Use your fist! Use your forehead! Use a real throwing star!

Veggies are NOT swords!

fool, don't do this

They are not guns, how could you even think that??

How to Murder a Taco: Muerte y Comidas

This is what yr soft taco shd look like

Soft Tacos

Be tender!

Soft tacos are easily scared. You don't want all that adrenaline in their tortilla muscles harming the taste. Be tender! Give it a little rub before you stick that axe in its forehead.

Speak softly

It's creepier when you speak softly. This will increase your sick pleasure, while simultaneously keeping your victim-taco unaware of its terrible fate.

Kittens: How to Get Them Hooked on Drugs

Why get kitty hooked on drugs?

nom nom nom, eat some more pills, pillhead! (source: ifnotforkidnap.com )

Cats are cute; cats on drugs are cuter!!!

Do you spend your whole day on the internet looking at pictures of cats? Yes, me too! Everyone does! Don't feel shame!

But have you ever thought, "Gosh, I'd really like these cats to be even cuter?"

Of course you have. It's all we think about now. 

Consider your friends. They're awful. Except when they're on drugs. Then they're cute and awful. 

Drugs won't make your cat a better cat, but they will make him or her a cuter cat.

I have too many drugs and kitty don't help me with this

Have you ever found yourself with a massive stash, and nobody to help you smoke it? This is the most prevalent problem in our society today.

Make them transcend, yo

What are good kitty gateway drugs?

Catnip

This one is easy. It has "cat" in the name. "Nip" stands for "Conniption", which is synonymous with "Getting totally fucked yo".

Weed

LSD
(edit: in the video it doesn't look like that cat's having a good time)
Bleach???

Among examples, chlorine is used in small quantities in tape water and the cat is fond of licking the faucet in acrobatic positions even if there is mineral freshwater nearby.
I was one day not careful enough using a bleach based gel cleaning product and some of it got on my hand. Even after cleaning my hands, they still had a bleach "perfume" and my cat cling to me and even cleaned my hands with his tongue for minutes. (source)

What drugs should I use to make kitty a for real junkie?
Cocaine
Heroin
MOLLY

Discussion on HTMLGIANT - 

Donald Dunbar  Wallace Barker 

• 8 days ago

Mmm, I kind of like Steve as a person, but what techniques does he use that weren't fully explored previously by Lil B? What _anything_?

https://twitter.com/LILBTHEBAS...

Within the first page of tweets right now, I see
1) animal rights
2) deliberate misspellings
3) exhortations to positivity
4) non sequitur, but reasonable-seeming advice

and Steve has lifted every Lil B self-promotional technique as well (calling every new release "ultra rare!!!" for instance)... Again, I'm happy Steve is who he is, but what about him is innovative? What about his brand isn't directly lifted from Lil B?

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  Wallace Barker  Donald Dunbar 

  • 8 days ago

  
  

  Have you read Steve's poetry collections? I don't mean that in a dismissive way but just genuinely curious. Because I think Steve's public persona and his poetry are two different things that get conflated (granted, he has encouraged readers to view them as part of a single project).

  I think if you read his poetry collections you would see that the poems are not directly lifted from Lil B. I agree that aspects of their public personas are very similar.

  I think Steve's poetry is amazing and innovative-- and by that I mean the poems he has published in his poetry collections.

  
  

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    Donald Dunbar  Wallace Barker 

    • 8 days ago

    
    

    I don't mean to sound like I'm hating on Steve--I see him as a force for good in the world and a force for good in poetry, and mentioned him as such in an essay I wrote some months back ( http://htmlgiant.com/random/bu... ). I think he's great at making videos, and I have read a number of his poems and really enjoyed some of them (tho I haven't read an entire collection). I also absolutely love that so many people find him inspiring, and an essay he wrote a year or two ago about his poetic project being to erase the distance between audience and poet made me think for a long while. But I haven't found real innovation in any of this--like, never-before-has-this-been-done.

    His anaphora is, to my ear, very much in the vein of slam poems. The flat-affect voice is in the Tao Lin lineage. The misspellings are mid-aughts Something Awful memes and rage comics via Lil B. Extreme parataxis has been all the rage for 15 years now. Incorporating internet text was fleshed out by Flarf a decade ago.

    I would never tell someone to not like poetry they like, but I'm not convinced "innovative" is the right way to compliment Steve. Nice, yes. Brave, yes. Exciting, obviously yes, to a lot of people. And I do think he's addressing a lot of people who are unaddressed by most other poets, which in my book is a really great thing.

    That all said, Jereme's critique of the pyramidal, psuedo-corporate structure around Steve does, I think, hold water. I've never seen Steve seriously work to promote someone else or their writing, and I do think the financial incentives he's found in his work ultimately hamstring it. He must maintain a geniality to preserve his persona lest he lose his meal ticket. When one's art is made to please a market, it's not art, but design.

    see more

    
    

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      Wallace Barker  Donald Dunbar 

      • 8 days ago

      
      

      I think Steve is innovative in the way Nirvana was innovative-- they weren't the first grunge/punk/rock/whatever band but they put everything together and presented it in a really unique and influential way. Certainly, Steve had a lot of forebearers but I do not think anyone ever added up the ingredients quite like him. I also just personally very much enjoy his poetry.

      I don't have a whole lot of comment on his activism or internet shenanigans. They seem fine to me, and I like him a lot as a person. It's tough out there for a full-time poet and anything Steve has accomplished to support himself and continue his efforts seems very inspiring and exciting to me.

      I would guess that a lot more promotion and marketing went into the artists you (or anyone) enjoy unless you only like completely obscure artists. The main difference is that a megabucks corporation called The David Geffen Company marketed Nirvana (for example) whereas Steve markets himself directly.

      Maybe if a corporate publisher marketed Steve and he kept his hands clean you wouldn't have a problem with it?

      
      

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        Donald Dunbar  Wallace Barker 

        • 8 days ago

        
        

        Well, but Nirvana (who were less innovators than masters) never claimed that their persona was their art. Their music was. Steve has claimed that his approach to persona is an artistic project, and I think the reason I've never seen him do anything at all transgressive with it is because it is crafted to be monetized.

        As for his poems-on-the-page, I'd love to read something that illuminates one, and walks me through the innovation you find in it. Not so I can dump on it or anything, but because I'm curious what's to be found that I haven't yet, and because I haven't yet seen somebody do that. If Steve's art truly is his poems, maybe it can be explained to all these people hating on him via a close read or something?

        
        

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          Wallace Barker  Donald Dunbar 

          • 8 days ago

          
          

          I think it's worth noting also that Steve ain't getting rich here. We're talking about subsistence level funding to keep his project going. And I do think he is transgressive. Hell, his anti-drug stance is basically unique among alt lit writers and, in fact, a source of ridicule (D.A.R.E.) that hurts him with a particular audience. For a poet, especially a widely read poet, he's done way more stuff that's risky and out there than most.

          As for explaining why I like his poetry, that's a tough one. It sounds like you are much more knowledgeable about MFA poetry stuff than me (I had to google parataxis and anaphora) so I doubt I could tell you anything very illuminating. I did write a goofy little essay that sort of explores my appreciation for his work: http://banangolit.com/post/381...

          
          

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            Guest  Wallace Barker 

            • 8 days ago

            
            

            Parataxis and anaphora as "MFA poetry stuff." Hahaha. What else is considered "MFA poetry stuff"--all the "stuff" covered by Aristotle? Why does Steve use alliteration and assonance? Perhaps he's an undercover MFA admirer because that stuff is only discussed and used in MFA programs.

            
            

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              Wallace Barker  Guest 

              • 8 days ago

              
              

              Steve actually dropped out of an MFA program to, you know, pursue being a poet. I'm guessing you finished your degree? Congrats!

              
              

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                Guest  Wallace Barker 

                • 8 days ago

                
                

                Good for him. I don't have anything against poets without MFAs. Means nothing to me. Can you write? Can you move me? Steve doesn't move me. To be fair, if someone stapled a stack of Hallmark cards together and said "this is my poetry collection--read it" I probably wouldn't be moved either. Back to you: you seem particularly obsessed with MFA programs and their supposed status. Most MFA holders don't spend nearly the time you do thinking about MFA programs and their supposed status. Just a thought, man. Okay, one more comment--you don't do yourself any favors by suggesting that one needs an MFA degree to know very basic literary terms and concepts that predate MFA programs by thousands of years. Walt Whitman, everyone's favorite working class, anti-institutional poet, could define parataxis, since he used it in his work all the time and wasn't a lazy anti-intellectual.

                PS--when the bat signal goes out and the alt-lit crowd down-votes you, you know you're doing something right. You're much better off being disliked or dv'ed by people who like 99.9% of everything in the world.

                
                

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                  Wallace Barker  Guest 

                  • 8 days ago

                  
                  

                  you're cool

                  
                  

                   

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                    Guest  Wallace Barker 

                    • 8 days ago

                    
                    

                    I'm really not, but thanks anyway!

                    
                    

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              shaun gannon  Guest 

              • 8 days ago

              
              

              oh shut up

              
              

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                Guest  shaun gannon 

                • 8 days ago

                
                

                "Because of this, the dissenting voice seems to be enemy number one to alt lit. They react ferociously and vehemently"--Jereme Dean

                It'll be okay. Take a deep breath.

                
                

                 

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            Donald Dunbar  Wallace Barker 

            • 8 days ago

            
            

            Sorry I disappeared earlier--had to go to work.

            I agree with most of what you're saying, and I totally enjoyed reading your essay--you do a great job of contextualizing that piece of Steve's work, and you do so without dressing up your thoughts in $20 words. Nor do you cloak your enthusiasm in irony, surface or otherwise, that would leave room for backtracking in case someone attacked it. I wish more critics would write in that space.

            I'm not sold on the anti-drug part of his persona as art, though if his stance was "lock up all drug users and let them starve to death" that might approach something transgressive; he might really be risking something. I think Marie Calloway gets closer to the persona project Steve is talking about, or Joe Brainard back in the day, or Frank O'Hara for that matter. Some ideas of risks Steve could take with his persona:

            * Publish BOOST-ing poem responses to deeply hurtful things that have been written or said to him in his life.
            * Spraypaint his poems across the CAFO meat in the meat aisle.
            * Publish a series of unsanitized sexual fantasies.
            * Write an anti-CAFO book while on a three-week hunger strike.
            * "Write" a poem while dictating it to a tattoo artist (using vegan ink!) who has the gun on Steve's back.

            Now--and let me be clear!--I think Steve is a brave person, and I really do mean all those ways I admire him; I don't think his poems are "innovative" (though some are excellent--I really dug the one you were looking at!), and I don't think he has made actual art with his persona yet. He may, and I'd love that, but he hasn't yet.

            I also, for the record, think Guest is being a fucking prick to you. I'm glad you looked that shit up! I don't know why someone would fault you for pursuing knowledge.